both...and... --- I agree with Marie - raising someone up does not (necessarily) mean putting oneself down. There are many instances when this is more 'both...and..' kinda deal, rather than 'either...or'.

Example: in my part of the world hospitality is a matter of pride and hosts often go above and beyond to make the guest feel welcomed and good. In the olden days, it often included letting the guest sleep in your bed with the host sleeping on the floor. Also, more often than not, this 'code of hospitality' was especially observed in poorer regions where people had less to offer in terms of food and drink, so they tried to 'compensate' for that by treating guests with special care.

However, the reason for putting oneself down like this was not a result of some sort of masochistic needs, but because in doing so the hosts felt good and took pride in the fact they treated someone so generously, i.e., there was a personal 'gain' in this act.

Source author: Andrej Skrinjaric andrejs@diplomacy.edu